NFL Mid-Term Awards

Hello, patient readers of the OD!  It has been quite some time, but with the dawn of the football season, a move to a new place in a new town and an occupational change in the truest sense of the phrase, I have been in hiding.  Hopefully I will emerge from my hibernation with some degree of insight into what has taken place in the NFL as we approach the halfway point of the 2007 season.  So, without any further ado, I present you with my mid-term awards through week eight of the NFL season.

Most Valuable Player

Tom Brady QB New England Patriots

This is probably the most obvious of all the awards because of the brilliance coming from the quarterback position in New England.  Brady, through eight games, has already put up numbers which are the equivalent to a career year for about 99 percent of quarterbacks to ever play the game.  Brady has already thrown 30 touchdown passes (that is NOT a typo) this season against just two interceptions while completing over 74 percent of his passes.  Ridiculous numbers when you consider that Hall of Fame quarterbacks Joe Montana, Troy Aikman, Bob Griese and Terry Bradshaw reached the 30 touchdown plateau in a season only once (Montana threw 31 for  in 1987) .   Combined. 

Honorable Mention:  Bob Sanders S Indianapolis Colts, Brett Favre QB Green Bay Packers, Tony Romo QB Dallas Cowboys, Randy Moss WR New England Patriots

Offensive Player of the Year

Randy Moss WR New England Patriots

Sure it seems as if I am prejudiced towards the Patriots, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.  Prior to the start of the season there was plenty of chatter about the character issues and baggage that Moss brings to a football team and very little was said about his abilities on the field of play.  Moss stepped into the Patriots locker room and fit in immediately, elevating the Patriots offense from a one man show (Brady) to an offensive juggernaut which has yet to score fewer than 34 points in a game. Moss already broke the Patriots franchise record for touchdown receptions in a season and is on pace to tie Jerry Rice for the NFL’s single season record of 22.  Add in his 779 receiving yards and 47 receptions, not to mention how much he opens things up for every other player on the Patriots offense, and you have every quality necessary to garner Offensive POY recognition.

Honorable Mention:  Tony Romo QB Dallas Cowboys, Derek Anderson QB Cleveland Browns, Joseph Addai RB Indianapolis Colts, Kris Brown K Texans (How sad for the Texans that Brown is their most viable offensive weapon)

Defensive Player of the Year

Bob Sanders S Indianapolis Colts

While his individual numbers aren’t by any means eye-popping (33 tackles, 2.5 sacks and one interception), Sanders impact on the Colts defense is immeasurable.  Sanders played in only four regular season games for the Super Bowl champion Colts last season, when the Colts were historically inept versus the run.  A year ago the Colts defense gave up over 22 points per game and 173 rushing yards per game, almost 30 yards per game more than the second worst rush defense, the St. Louis Rams.  This year?  The Colts are giving up a more respectable 107.4 rushing yards per game and fewer than 15 points per game.  Not coincidentally, Sanders has played every game for the Colts this year. 

Honorable Mention:  Jared Allen DE Kansas City Chiefs, Barrett Ruud LB Tampa Bay Bucaneers, Sean Taylor S Washington Redskins, Nick Barnett LB Green Bay Packers

Offensive Rookie of the Year

Adrian Peterson RB Minnesota Vikings

This is almost as obvious a selection as Brady for the MVP.  Peterson is leading the NFL in rushing yards despite the best efforts of head coach Brad Childress to limit his budding superstar’s carries. Great idea. Keep the ball out of your only legitimate playmakers hands. In addition to his 740 rushing yards, Peterson is third in the NFL in rushing touchdowns and has the highest yards per carry among players with at least 50 attempts. Now if they could just figure out a way to limit their quarterback’s touches…

Honorable Mention:  Marshawn Lynch RB Buffalo Bills, Dwayne Bowe WR Kansas City Chiefs, James Jones WR Green Bay Packers, Trent Edwards QB Buffalo Bills

Defensive Rookie of the Year

Patrick Willis LB San Francisco 49er’s

Another run away winner, Willis ranks second in the league in tackles (73) and has nearly 20 more tackles than the nearest rookie.  Willis certainly has a lot to learn about the professional game and is not particularly efficient in pass coverage, but his nose for the ball and ability to bring the wood while still making plays from sideline to sideline is reminiscent of a young Ray Lewis.  Willis should anchor the defense in the Bay Area for the next decade.

Honorable Mention:  Aaron Ross DB New York Giants, Darrelle Revis DB New York Jets, Amobi Okoye DT Houston Texans, Reggie Nelson S Jacksonville Jaguars

Coach of the Year

Tony Dungy

Say what you will about the about the talent that Tony Dungy has to work with, he has transformed one of the NFL’s worst defenses (which won the Super Bowl, by the way) into a unit which ranks second in the league in points allowed (14.6 ppg).  Dungy’s offense meanwhile is third in the NFL in both yards and points per game.  Oh, by the way, the Colts head into a week nine match-up with their undefeated arch rival New England Patriots at 7-0 and primed to defend their home turf.

Honorable Mention:  Mike McCarthy Green Bay Packers, Romeo Crennel Cleveland Browns, Wade Phillips Dallas Cowboys, Rod Marinelli Detroit Lions

Biggest Surprise

The Emergence of Derek Anderson

The Cleveland Browns came into the season with Charlie Frye, who went 4-9 as the starter for the Browns a year ago, on top of the depth chart.  After a 34-7 loss to open the season against the division rival Pittsburg Steelers, in which Frye completed four of ten passes with one interception and five sacks, Frye was shipped to the Seattle Seahawks and Anderson was elevated to starter.  Anderson didn’t disappoint in his first start, throwing for 328 yards and five touchdowns in a 51-45 victory over the Cincinnati Bengals.  Anderson hasn’t looked back.  The Browns are now 4-3 and look like a possible playoff team behind Anderson and a nice mix of youth and experience on an offense that ranks fourth in the NFL in scoring at 27.7 points per game, nearly twice their 2006 average of 14.9ppg.  Not too bad for the kid out of Oregon State who came into the season as an after thought.

Honorable Mention:  Green Bay Packers; Adrian Peterson, RB, Minnesota Vikings; Detroit Lions; Trent Cole, DE, Philadelphia Eagles 

Biggest Disappointment

St. Louis Rams

While certainly not a Super Bowl favorite, the Rams cam into the 2007 season with hopes of stealing the NFC West crown from the Seahawks.  With QB Marc Bulger fresh off a huge contract extension and a Pro Bowl, RB Steven Jackson coming off a breakout year and the signing of WR Drew Bennett and TE Randy McMichael in the off-season, expectations were high in the Gateway City.  The Rams stumbled out of the gate and, due to an absurd amount of injuries along the offensive line which have been far more than any team could be expected to overcome, the Rams offense never got untracked.  At 0-8, with injuries decimating the offense and a porous defense, the Rams have little to hang their hat on outside of a high draft pick come April.

Honorable Mention:  New York Jets; Cincinnati Bengals;  Matt Leinart, QB, Arizona Cardinals; Chicago Bears

College Football Preview

The college football season is right around the corner. It is time to make projections on BCS conference champions, the Heisman Trophy, and BCS projections.

ACC
Champion: Georgia Tech
A Virginia Tech squad returning sixteen starters is the trendy and sentimental pick, but too many people are writing off the Yellow Jackets. Yes, Tech did lose Calvin Johnson, the biggest talent in college football. However, that loss is more than negated by Reggie Ball’s graduation. Ball’s sub 50% completion percentage ruined what could have been a special year in Atlanta last fall. Taylor Bennett shined in the Gator Bowl last year, displaying poise and accuracy of which Ball could only dream. He has earned the trust of his teammates as the leader of the team and has the talent to become an above average quarterback. Even without Calvin Johnson, he will have plenty of weapons. Tashard Choice led the ACC in rushing last season. James Johnson has the talent to have a breakout year as the top option at wideout. Returning four starters on the offensive line will make life easy for Bennett and Choice. John Tenuna, one of the nation’s best and unheralded defensive coordinators, gets to work with eight returning starters on what was a superb unit last season. The Jackets get their top ACC Coastal competitor, Virginia Tech, at home, a team they crushed last season. This team was one play away from a conference title and the Orange Bowl last season. That kind of heartbreak will only motivate the club to reach new heights this year.

Other legitimate contenders: Virginia Tech Boston College, and Florida State

Big East
Champion: West Virginia
Coming off a disappointing two loss campaign, everything seems set up for the Mountaineers to make a run for the National Championship. Heisman contender Steve Slaton is the biggest name West Virginia brings back. The speedy running back is one of college football’s biggest gamechangers, but this offense has more playmakers. Pat White’s development as a passer is going to make Rich Rodriguez’s spread attack unstoppable. He had a phenomenal finish to 2006 throwing the ball. With an offseason to refine himself, White is becoming a duel threat instead of a run only quarterback. Combine his passing improvements with his 4.4 40 speed and his 1,200 yard running skill, and White is the biggest playmaking quarterback in college football since Vince Young. Young did not have weapons like Slaton and freshman Noel Devine, a running back with fantastic speed who will line up in the slot. The Mountaineers do have to replace Rimington Award winner, Dan Moses, and a terrific offensive line coach, Rick Trickett, who went to Florida State. Still, the team returns three starters to the unit. The skill players are good enough to weather any early transition as the unit grows together. West Virginia will not be tested early, giving the unit a chance to gel. The defense will be solid as the team returns a lot of talent on the line. The secondary, a problem spot a year ago, will be better and more experienced as four of five starters return. With the skill on offense, this team only needs an adequate defensive unit. West Virginia will not be tested often. While the team gets Louisville at home, it will have a pair of potential pitfalls in roadtrips to Rutgers and South Florida. This is still the most talented team in the conference and has the experience necessary to win in hostile environments. West Virginia could very well have a trip to New Orleans in the cards.

Other legitimate contenders: Louisville, Rutgers, and South Florida

Big Ten
Champion: Penn State
Most pundits think that the Big Ten is a two team race between Michigan and Wisconsin. These people overlook a team from Happy Valley that is poised to crash the party. Penn State returns eight offensive starters this season. Anthony Morelli came on strong in the team’s Outback Bowl win over Tennessee. The former top recruit got better and gained confidence as the season progressed in 2006. Having a year of starting experience under his belt will help him utilize his playmakers at receiver, namely Derrick Williams, Deon Butler, and Jordan Norwood. Austin Scott should have no problem replacing Tony Hunt in the backfield. The defense returns only five starters, but the returners are standouts. Dan Connor, arguably the nation’s best linebacker, moves inside to replace Paul Posluszny. He has experience at the position, meaning that his transition to the middle will go smoother than Posluszny’s did a year ago making the same switch. Justin King and Josh Gaines are top players at their respective positions, cornerback and defensive end. Penn State had to rebuild its defense on the fly last year after losing nine starters. The unit was still a major strength because of the talent and intellect of the new starters. The same will be true this season. Maurice Evans, Abe Koroma, and Jared Odrick all have a ton of promise rounding out the defensive line. The same is true of A.J. Wallace and Spencer Ridenhour in the secondary. The Nittany Lions are going to crush an inexperienced Notre Dame team on September 15 in Happy Valley, and the momentum coming from there should give the team confidence. Penn State gets Wisconsin, Ohio State, and Iowa all at home in front of one of the craziest crowds in college football. The only difficult conference test on the road will be Michigan, a team that has State’s number. The Wolverines probably will win that game, but that team has enormous holes to fill on defense without Penn State’s talent, a roadtrip to Wisconsin, lingering doubts against Ohio State, and a target on its back as the favorite. Whenever that core has dealt with high expectations, it has failed as it did in 2005 and the last two games of last season. The Wolverines are going to lose enough to not win the Big Ten. Wisconsin will trip up on its trip to Happy Valley, playing not only against Joe Paterno’s team but also against a deafening crowd. A team as talented as Penn State is this season is going to be very tough to beat with such a homefield advantage.

Other legitimate contenders: Michigan, Wisconsin, and Ohio State

Big XII
Champion: Oklahoma
The Sooners enter the season with major question marks at quarterback. This has many believing that they cannot repeat in the Big XII. However, Bob Stoops has found a way to win the conference with teams quarterbacked by Nate Hybl and Paul Thompson, both men who played their way out of starting jobs early in their careers only to later be forced back into action. OU will be able to control games on the ground. Allen Patrick proved himself capable when Adrian Peterson was injured last season. The breakout star, however, will be DeMarco Murray, a freshman with dazzling athleticism. He has the talent to become one of the nation’s best backs as a freshman. He will form an excellent tandem with Patrick, allowing the Sooners to play ball control behind an experienced line. Bob Stoops will have a trademark excellent defense. Reggie Smith and Marcus Walker form a top flight duo at cornerback. Ryan Reynolds and Mike Reed comprise a talented linebacking corps, and OU’s line will be experienced and supplemented with fresh talent in Gerald McCoy. Oklahoma will not need to rely on its quarterback to win most games. This is one of the most talented teams in America. Texas might have a slight edge when the teams take the field in Dallas, but Bob Stoops always seems to be able to outscheme Mack Brown. Stoops is too good to lose three straight times to Mack. Beyond that, stiff divisional tests, Oklahoma State and Texas A&M travel to Norman, while the Longhorns have to go to Stillwater and College Station. Texas’ ability to keep Colt McCoy healthy also might be an issue as the Longhorns lost three starters on the offensive line. UT and OU are by far the two most talented teams in the conference. On paper Texas is better, but signs point to the Sooners taking the crown this year.

Other legitimate contenders: Texas, Nebraska, and Texas A&M

Pac 10
Champion: USC
The Trojans went 11-2 last season, won the Pac 10 and the Rose Bowl, finished in the top 5, and it was considered a rebuilding year. USC brings back ten defensive starters. The only spot where they lost somebody was defensive end, and the Trojans recruited Everson Griffen, one of the best prospects in years at the position. The defense is stacked with potential All-Americans and awards winners including Sedrick Ellis, Keith Rivers, and Taylor Mays. The offense might have lost six starters, but USC has blue chip recruits playing on its third string. John David Booty is back at quarterback and will be a year better bolstered by confidence gained after torching Michigan in the Rose Bowl. It should be a sign of things to come. The Trojans are also stacked at running back. The seventh string guy at USC could start for most schools. The most promising of these is Joe McKnight, a freak of nature who can make plays running, receiving, and returning kicks. He is not Reggie Bush, but people easily could mention his name in the same breath as McFadden and Slaton by the end of the year. Pete Carroll has done such a great job recruiting that it does not matter what USC loses each year because a five star recruit is ready to step in. This team is stacked. Even with trips to California, Nebraska, Notre Dame, and Oregon on the schedule, the only team that can beat the Trojans is themselves. However, the most impressive thing that Carroll has done is not let his players be satisfied by past success. Even after a five year run as the dominant team in college football, USC is still as hungry as it was in 2003. UCLA may have twenty starters back from a team that beat the Trojans last season, but USC will be on a mission to deliver payback in the Coliseum on December 1. They are not going to lose their focus twice in a row. Forget about getting a berth in any BCS game. It would be an utter shock if USC was not playing for the National Championship in the Superdome next January.

Other “legitimate” contenders: California, Oregon, and UCLA

SEC
Champion: LSU
The Tigers are the clear choice to win the SEC this season, even without JaMarcus Russell. Matt Flynn is a more than capable replacement. He will have plenty of help. The Tigers have five quality running backs in Jacob Hester, Keiland Williams, Alley Broussard, Charles Scott, and Richard Murphy. All will likely see carries and contribute. Early Doucett and Brandon LaFell both are poised to deliver on their potential and have breakout seasons. The line returns three high caliber starters. The offense will be capable. The defense will be dominant. Glenn Dorsey would be a Heisman candidate if the award went to the best college football player in the nation instead of the best BCS quarterback or running back. He is an enormous run-stuffer who also gets a good push up the middle of the line. Tyson Jackson is one of the nation’s best pass rushers. LSU returns all three starting linebackers and a terrific pair of corners. The Tigers also get Auburn, Arkansas, and Florida at home. The only pitfall road game will be against old coach and defensive mastermind, Nick Saban, and an offensively talented Alabama squad. ‘Bama will circle that game on the calendar, and fans will create an almost impossible environment in a potential return to glory game. Saban’s schemes should hide a lot of his talent deficencies That game will ruin LSU’s chances for a dream season, but the Tigers should handle an inexperienced Florida squad to win the SEC title.

Other legitimate contenders: Florida, Georgia, and Auburn

Heisman Trophy Winner: Steve Slaton
Slaton has the preseason hype necessary. He is going to perform well for a contender, a team that should make a run at the National Championship. Darren McFadden might be the preseason favorite, but his team is going to struggle this season. Losing Mitch Mustain and Gus Malzhan will hurt badly. Casey Dick is not a consistent enough passer to keep defenses honest and bring balance, and David Lee cannot match Malzhan’s creativity. Couple that with losing several impact defenders and roadtrips to Alabama, Tennessee, and LSU, and the Hogs are going to have a tough time contending for a BCS bid, a necessity for a player to win a Heisman. John David Booty is the other logical choice, but his status as USC quarterback is going to work against him, despite what some may think. After giving the award to Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart, the voters are going to think twice before giving it to a third Trojans signal caller this decade at the risk of becoming stale. They will point out the great talent surrounding Booty. This could become like Shaq O’Neal in his prime. Voters will not select USC quarterbacks because they will have become too dominant and could get the award every year the same way voters would not give Shaq the MVP because he could win it every year. Heisman voters are easily influenced. It will only take the first media member to argue this point for the majority to follow.

Other legitimate contenders: Darren McFadden, John David Booty, and Brian Brohm

BCS Matchups:

Rose Bowl: Penn State vs. Texas

Sugar Bowl: LSU vs. Wisconsin

Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma vs. Virginia Tech

Orange Bowl: Georgia Tech vs. Florida

BCS Championship Game: USC def. West Virginia

In the matchup of two unbeatens, the Trojans will win convincingly. USC’s defense has the speed to at least hold West Virginia in check, while the Trojans will use their enormous offensive line and depth at running back to wear down the Mountaineers’ six man front. West Virginia is great on one side of the ball. USC is great on both sides. Pete Carroll will win his third National Championship.

Big Ten Expansion

With the Big Ten about to launch a television network, talk has been rampant that the conference could expand. Adding another team could both help open new media markets for the league and allow it to stage a big money making football championship game. The league should seriously consider how much each prospective candidate would bring to the table. This is a list of all schools mentioned as possible new Big Ten members in order of desirability.

1. Notre Dame
Why it would make sense: Notre Dame is the biggest draw in college football. The school has fans everywhere, meaning monster television ratings and travel. It also is one of the most prestigous academic institutions in America. The Irish’s storied tradition would fit right in with the likes of Michigan, Ohio State, and Penn State. Notre Dame already has long running series with Michigan, Michigan State, and Purdue. The school also has rivalries with Penn State and Ohio State that could be developed. South Bend, Indiana, is right in Big Ten territory.
Why it would not make sense: For all the reasons that the Big Ten has to pursue Notre Dame, Notre Dame has no reason to join the Big Ten. The school makes a ton of money through an individual television contract with NBC it would have to sacrifice. The Irish also would have to share BCS revenues with the rest of the conference schools and lose a sweetheart deal that gave it easier entry into BCS games.

2. Texas
Why it would make sense: Like Notre Dame, Texas has a storied football tradition, a great academic reputation, and an enormous following. The Big Ten could claim markets all across the state, including the Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, and Austin markets. This move also would open up the fertile recruiting ground of Texas to the conference.
Why it would not make sense: There really is not much incentive for Texas to join the Big Ten. Travel would be an absolute nightmare.The Longhorns would have a killer nonconference schedule in addition to the Big Ten grind because they would presumably keep long standing rivalries with Texas A&M and Oklahoma. Baseball is the second sport at the University of Texas, and that sport would suffer in a weaker, cold weather conference. Texas might have some sqabblles with the Big XII, but the conference would likely do what it takes to prevent a defection from one of its marquee athletic program.

3. Rutgers
Why it would make sense: Rutgers is an up and coming football program and would open up the New York and Philadelphia markets. While in a region that is not a college football hotbed, the school’s game against Louisville generated an 8.1 rating in the Big Apple. RU is also a large state school with a quality academic reputation. This move would also create a geographic rival for Penn State.
Why it would not make sense: This move would be banking a lot on a single season. Rutgers soared to national prominence last year. The year before, they were decent in a watered down Big East. For most of the school’s previous history, the Scarlet Knights were a perrenial doormat with no following.Greg Schiano would probably stay for the long haul with the school in such a terrific football conference, but there is no proof he can maintain the same level. Will the fan base still be there with a less than dominant team? The step up in competition would probably knock Rutgers off the national radar as the Knights would likely fall to the middle of the pack in the Big Ten.

4. Missouri
Why it would make sense: Missouri is another large state school with good academics. It has solid basketball and football programs. There is a geographic fit. There is already an establishment with Illinois. The Illini have given the conference a base in the St. Louis market. Adding Missouri would give the Big Ten a stranglehold in the region.
Why it would not make sense: The only real reason is that one of the better options presents itself. Missouri would be a great fallback plan.

5. Nebraska
Why it would make sense: The Cornhuskers have a storied football program. Nebraska fits into the Big Ten’s geographic area. The school has also been part of fighting with fellow Big XII members.
Why it would not make sense: Nebraska does have a big fanbase, but the Lincoln market pales in comparison to others the Big Ten could bring into the mix.

6. Boston College
Why it would make sense: BC is one of the most selective academic institutions in America and has excellent football, basketball,and hockey programs like other Big Ten schools.
Why it would not make sense: Saying that BC would open up the Boston market is like saying the New Jersey Nets light up the New York market. BC is a distant fourth on the city’s radar behind the Red Sox, Patriots, and Celtics. That is unlikely to change with all three of those teams in contending mode. The alumni base is small and apathetic. The school also is coming off one acrimonious conference move. Is it ready for another so soon?

7. Pittsburgh
Why it would make sense: Pitt is a good school with a decent football program, an excellent basketball program, and good facilities. This move would reignite the school’s dormant rivalry with Penn State.
Why it would not make sense: The Big Ten already has a firm hold on the Pittsburgh market with Penn State’s presence.

8. Syracuse
Why it would make sense: Syracuse has an excellent basketball program. It would also help the Big Ten make a dent in the New York market since many alumni and fans live in the metropolitan area. This would be another option to finally get a geographic rival for Penn State.
Why it would not make sense: Where Rutgers would be a direct hit in New York, Syracuse does not have the same impact in the city. The football program has also been in shambles since the inexplicable decision to hire Greg Robinson, an awful football coach.

8. Colorado
Why it would make sense: Colorado is another big state school with good academics and a good football tradition. It would bring the Denver market into the fold.
Why it would not make sense: The travel would be difficult, and the Buffs would have to leave a conference with great rivalries.

8. Louisville
Why it would make sense: Louisville has built great football and basketball programs and would give the conference a Southern presence.
Why it would not make sense: The Big Ten prides itself on having quality academic schools. Louisville would not fit in at all.

9. West Virginia
Why it would make sense: Rich Rodriguez has built the Mountaineers into a national power in football. John Beilein did the same in basketball, and Bob Huggins will use his renegade tactics to keep it that way.
Why it would not make sense: West Virginia is even worse scholastically than Louisville and does not play in any desirable market.

10. Cincinnati
Why it would make sense: Cincinnati is a geographic fit. It would also build on a rivalry with Ohio State.
Why it would not make sense: The Big Ten already owns the area. The school’s football program is improving but would likely fall apart in the Big Ten. The basketball program has not recovered from the end of the Bob Huggins era.

11. Iowa State
Why it would make sense: This would bring the school’s rivalry with Iowa into the conference.
Why it would not make sense: Iowa has lousy football and basketball programs and sits in a small market in which the Big Ten already is strong. This would be a very uninspired choice.

Taking over for Arthur Blank

Dear Mr. Michael Vick,
As you can tell by our conversations over the past few weeks I am less than pleased with your actions. I am done being politically correct. I’m done beating around the bush, and considering how you’ll never put on a Falcons uniform again and the millions of my dollars that you have I feel that I am entitled to at least tell you how I feel. You were a mediocre quarterback to begin with. Your accuracy is laughable, your arm is overrated, and quite frankly if it wasn’t for your ability to sell merchandise and tickets I would have cut your ass years ago because you sure haven’t made us contenders despite your ridiculous salary. If it wasn’t for Sportscenter top 10 highlights and our determination to make you a quarterback when you aren’t one I’m not sure anybody who have a clue who you were. You’ve tarnished this franchise with your dispicable acts and inability to have an even somewhat decent passer rating. You will not be associated with this franchise ever again from this point on. Don’t mistake me saying what I’m supposed to say in the media as another chance for you – you’re done. In fact I’m in preliminary talks with the people who erased the final four from Michigan’s record about doing the same with you. Let’s just say the talks are “very” encouraging. In light of the last Harry Potter book being released this weekend all our current players, coaches, and staff members will refer to you as he-who-must-not-be-named from now on. DO NOT come anywhere near the falcons facility. We’ve got pit bulls patrolling the area incase you do, and there are no pools or electrocuting devices in sight. It’s customary for owners to tell players they are cutting ties with that they appreciate the time and effort you gave during your time working for them. Seeing that the situation is as such though, I will not be doing so. You’re time in Atlanta has been a waste of my money and I will now have to deal with questions for at least the next two years due to your actions.

 Hoping you get life,

Arthur Blank
Owner of Atlanta Falcons
President of the give Vick life club

P.S. If I can find a way to sue you for these huge donations I’m having to make to the humane society – I will.